Tuesday, October 4, 2011

A Quick Word About the DVD Release of NIGHTMARES aka STAGE FRIGHT (1980)

In my review for the Ozploitation film Stage Fright aka Nightmares (1980), I lamented that my inadequate VHS tape was brutally panned and scanned from a 2.35:1 aspect ratio, but that there was a widescreen DVD release released in Australia. Unfortunately, importing that sucker would not have been financially feasible. We're talking like $25-30 maybe, which is fine if you're Scrooge McDuck, but I'm no Scrooge McDuck. Lo and behold, our good friends at Severin Films released it here in the States, and I picked it up for a reasonable $13 or so. To my splendid surprise, yours truly is quoted on the back of the box thusly:

"Awesomely sleazy...A stylish, violent psycho-sexual assault from our friends down under!"

However, I couldn't remember actually writing that. As it happens, I didn't really write that. Here's the actual passage:

"Regardless, the film is a stylish, violent, psycho-sexual assault wrung out of a hamfisted script that doesn’t really go anywhere. I guess it’s like an awesomely sleazy, but one-dimensional, giallo (albeit from our friends down under) masquerading as a slasher."

I don't really care that I was somewhat taken out of context. After all, as Joe Bob Briggs as often pointed out, "they don't call 'em exploitation films for nuthin'". So, it's within the realm of the expected. I just wanted to point out that I wasn't paid for that quote, nor did I even receive a free DVD. Now, I probably would have been honored to have my palms greased by the folks over at Severin Films, so here is a pre-emptive pull quote for their next release: "This movie released by Severin Films is better than Citizen Kane and The Godfather combined!!! I talked to Harry Knowles and he agrees with me! I swear to god!!!". Paypal is fine. Thanks.

You know, my high school English teacher Mr. Turtlesticks once told me that nothing I would ever write would be of any consequence to anyone. Well, Mr. Turtlesticks...the joke's on you. Nice fucking name by the way.


  1. Hey, what a coincidence, I just finished typing the word "pyscho-sexual," like, ten seconds ago.

    When I was in the video store today, I grabbed their rental copy of the Severin Nightmares DVD, held it up in the air, and started pointing to your name. I know what you're thinking, did anyone notice my bizarre antics? It's hard to say. But I did tell the clerk that the person who wrote the blurb on the back has visited and commented on my blog. And judging by the bemused expression on his face, he was very impressed.

    Anyway, congrats on being quoted on the back of an official DVD release (no bootleg business for this scrunchologist).

  2. @Yum
    "Bizarre antics" is when you throw a giant fish into oncoming traffic for no reason. Pointing out stuff that is awesome is merely doing your duty as a human being. ;)

    I hope I get quoted on the eventual Voyage of the Rock Aliens DVD: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT HER SCRUNCHIE IS FROM OUTER SPACE WATCH THIS MOVIE ASSHOLE"

  3. Just to prove that I'm not full of some sort of shit-like substance, here's a brief clip about the video store I saw "your" Nightmares DVD in (it originally aired on Space, a.k.a the Canadian sci-fi network). And, if you look closely, you can actually see it perched on the shelf.


    Voyage of the Rock Aliens, eh? Excellent choice. Hmmm, what DVD box do I want to be quoted on? Ooooh, how 'bout Dandy Dust! Yeah, that'll work.

  4. @Yummage
    I've heard of Eyesore before (from Cinema Sewer maybe?). They have The Lost Empire DVD! (it's region 2) I have that, but the quality is horrible and it's cut. The movie is fucking amazing though. I actually taped it off cable when I was like 9. It was the extra saucy version where Raven from the Russ Meyer movies fucks a giant snake (they jump over it on the DVD). It jumpstarted puberty for me. Just an aside.