Thursday, June 2, 2011

Movies I wanna see: HEAVY METAL SUMMER (1988)

Yet another potential slam dunk (or make that hat trick) from our Canadian friend Rafal Zielinski, the Ingmar Bergman of the 80's sex comedy. Folks, we're talking Screwballs, we're talking Loose Screws, we're talking Recruits, and, most impressively of all, we're talking Valet Girls. Check out this clip and bear in mind that the film maintains this level of awesome for a full 90 minutes:

Rafal was also responsible for Ginger Ale Afternoon, a sort of comedic take on Tennessee Williams that features a short nude scene from Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson. Yes, Lisa Simpson tits, by proxy anyway. You're welcome folks. He also directed the Sundance winning drama Fun, sorta of a cross between Natural Born Killers and Thelma and Louise, but with lesbian undertones (but, considering it stars Alicia Witt and Renee Humphries, maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part).

ANYWAY, Mr. Zielinski apparently co-directed Heavy Metal Summer with some other dude. The original title of the movie is "State Park", and it was renamed "Heavy Metal Summer" for home video, maybe the biggest title improvement in movie history. I don't know about you, but if I'm checking out 80's sex comedies, there's almost no chance I'll want to dive into something called "State Park" unless I'm a total completist (or turned on by forest preserves). However, there's NO way I'm passing on a movie called Heavy Metal Summer. Yeah, it might be a piece of shit, but it's got hot weather in it, and that means chicks in bikinis and hopefully some nudity. I can probably assume some jackassey antics (maybe a panty/bikini raid or something) and, of course, a big fat party guy doing big fat party guy things. Throw in some heavy metal and you've got yourself a movie that, no matter how much it fails, can only win. Oh yeah, did I mention the Nuge was in it? Yes, Ted fucking Nugent. Yeah, he's probably an asshole in real life, but thankfully, this doesn't appear to be real life, but a world where there is only summer and heavy metal, in no particular order. I say it's a perfect fit.

Unfortunately, it's not out on DVD, and the VHS of the movie is maybe the rarest of all 80's sex comedies. When I checked the listing on Amazon a couple of months ago, there was one used copy listed for $1000! It's gone now, so maybe somebody actually ponied up the dough. I know what you're probably thinking: "what kind of an asshole charges $1000 for a VHS tape?". I go the other way on this one folks. I say if you can get some schmuck to throw down their kid's college fund for a movie called Heavy Metal Summer, you deserve praise as some sort of genius. In fact, an honorary degree from Harvard Business School might be in order. I'm probably alone on this one. Either way, hopefully the guy that bought it thinks the movie blows and resells it on Amazon for $2.50 plus shipping (that's my ceiling on this one). I'm holding out hope.

P.S. The movie was apparently filmed in Montreal but is listed on IMDB as being an American production, so it may or may not qualify as "canuckleheadsploitation". I'm just not sure on this one.


  1. I happen to own a vhs copy of it. Found it at my parents cottage. They must have bought it from the used video store in town years ago.

    1. Well, you are a lucky one. Few parents are cool enough to have a VHS of Heavy Metal Summer lying around.